Friday, August 20, 2010

As I sit here at my computer I wonder What do I write? Since signing up to be a guest blogger for That's Women's Work I've been asking myself that very question. Each time I ask, the answer sounds somewhat like a choir of crickets singing so off tune... Consider that for moment... AND the moment's done. Lets continue shall we? I've been staring at my keyboard (rather intensely I might add) giving the keys my best attempt at a Jedi stare; Hoping that it will read my inner thoughts--- Type for me. Type for me. TYPE FOR ME!!! While I am not a Jedi master, trainee or associated with a Jedi in any shape or form, I thought if I was ever going to utilize the powers of my mind to force an object to do my bidding, now would be as good a time as ever. But alas, I am no Jedi (shocking! I know). The keys are not typing by themselves (sad, but true). And thus I've realized that nothing in my life (even something as simple as a blog entry) is ever going to be accomplished unless I roll up my sleeves, breathe in, breathe out, and do it my damn self. And so now I'm here- nearing the end of my second paragraph- ignoring everything they taught in English class about form, grammar and yadda yadda, still having no idea what to write, but I'm writing none the less. So all things considered, I'm in a rather good position. And I'm sure you can all appreciate a good position from time to time. hehehe (clears throat). As far as I'm concerned, the Jedi's can keep their mind tricks. I'm going to harness my own power- the power of my mind and creativity- to get the job done. Now that's women's work! Light bulb! BINGO! There it is folks. I now know what I'm going to write about. Are you ready for it? Eeeeee (that's me squealing in giddy anticipation for the reveal). (And yes, I am a grown-ass woman that gets giddy and squeals. Don't judge!) I'm going to discuss (drum roll please--- hold your applause until the end) HATS! Ahhh! Amazing right?! *Side note* You're probably sitting at your computer reading this, wondering what the hell I'm talking about right? Allow me explain. I'm not going to discuss hats, as in... hats... but more so the hats that we as individuals wear on a daily basis. Hats- the titles we own and the titles that are bestowed upon us (sometimes without our consent or knowledge). And thus my journey and this blog truly begins... I am a single mother. As such I wear many hats. I am a teacher, a provider, a nurturer, a disciplinary, a friend. I am the chaser of monsters and bad dreams (and little boys that attempt to kiss my daughter at recess. In my opinion JK students shouldn't be kissing at all- especially MY DAUGHTER- but I digress). I am the shoulder she cries on when she's upset. The person she looks up to- until she's too big to hold my hand while she crosses the street that is. I'm her would-be hero, nurse and griot. I am also the resident dish-washer, seamstress and the finder of toys and other lost treasures. I am all of these, among many other things. For awhile I was a mother and a wife. That was all. While my life was full with so many things, I felt a little empty inside. In a way I forgot who I was. I got caught up wearing all these different hats and I forgot how to be me. I neglected to wear my hat- first- before all others. *Another side note* I feel as though it's ingrained in us (as women more so then men) to please everyone and put everyone's needs, wants, desires and demands ahead of our own. In February 2008 I reached my breaking point and decided to put on my hat and wear it with pride. But when I left my husband, I went into the world as a child- afraid, naive and in dire need of her mommmy. I had neglected my own vision and needs for so long that it was difficult to be reintroduced as the woman that I had grown to be. But I did it, slowly and painfully at times. But the more I believed in myself the easier it became. ...FAST FORWARD TO TODAY... I can declare with much pride and conviction that over the last two and a half years I find myself finally fitting into my shoes, or hats as it were. I've found a beautiful balance between being a mother and a woman (and all that entails). As I write this, I'm preparing to move to Guelph next month and start fresh with my daughter Valerie. If you had said last year even, that I would be in this position, I would have laughed at the obscenity of the suggestion. I've come to understand and embrace the fact that it's what we do with the circumstances we're presented with while wearing those hats that truly define us. It is possible for me to be a mom, a partner, a friend, an employee (though I long for the day I can work for myself. As a freelance artist I'm getting there, slowly but surely) and a contributing member of society while never losing sight of who I am, my goals or my true spirit. I would like to write A LOT more about this topic (trust me, I certainly could), but one of the hats I wear is that of a spoken word artist and I have a show in less then half an hour and must depart! I will most likely add to this entry when I have the chance. Should you want to follow along, read some of my other works, book me for a show (just throwing it out there), please email me at thepowertrycollective@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for following along! yours in creativity and unity, Kay'la Fraser -- Kay'la Fraser •Spoken Word Artist•Workshop Facilitator•Event Coordinator• thepowertrycollective@gmail.com fraser.kayla@gmail.com

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