Thursday, June 10, 2010

A trip to the bank the anarchist kids book that needs to be written!

I told myself I would log the first year of my bizness to inspire others, help eliminate obstacles through resources and to share my journey of starting a biz with no capitol and no reserves. There isn't much out there for folks with no money, no credit or bad credit that are starting a biz. I promised myself I would be candid and honest about my journey. As I have I've had many a secret pull asides by other women telling me that they too have "BAD CREDIT!" (eerie music here). Maybe from an abusive relationship, precarious work, barriers to employment such as mental health or depression, being a single parent, immigration status, trauma, low minimum wage and high cost of living, transphobia, racism, sexism, homophobia, insane student loans( so high that one could had used those funds to instead buy a organic farm on ocean property just outside Halifax, not that I've looked or anything) and my personal favorite, addiction. My personal banking agent, I need not say it, was alarmed to hear that I had bad credit. I came face to face with that look of judgement, you know it all pale with wide eyes. Like a person who still believers in debtors jail (I didn't until like 5 years ago). His European parents had told him to work hard or else, and now here he was face to face with one of them! (horror movie scream here- the blood curtailing kind). That "oh no am I in danger alone in this tiny room with this woman" face. There to pitch a non profit women's art gallery...... didn't exactly lighten the situation.... Okay so I've juggled things, sometimes I've dropped the ball. I've worked my ass off for years, I've had a job since I was a child, worked full time since grade 9 , did summers in the field- have you seen how pale I am- let me tell you about those sun burns. I have bad credit but not because I'm lazy or because I haven't tried. So I'm not hiding it anymore, I judged myself so severely for years and missed opportunities because I couldn't stand up or felt ashamed. Bad credit women of the world unite! Let me tell you there are more of us than them!!!!

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