Friday, June 11, 2010


10:00pm Friday June 11th. My first large scale outdoor event is tomorrow at 1pm. Looks like a huge thunder storm is coming through. Weather has been clear for over two weeks on the long term forecast- just popped up out of no where. Made a million calls to find an alternative indoor location- June weddings have gobbled up every resource in the city. Rain date following day- 90% chance of Thunderstorm.... I'm sure there are lessons in all of this... Band, gear, cooler rentals, insurance, volunteers, media, prizes, community partners etc. etc. everything is alllllll set to go. It's all in place for tomorrow. I'm trying to stay calm and cool. This evening I expressed my bewilderment to a friend. What is the freakin reason for this- what is the piece in it for me. I have come up with two possibilities: 1) Attachment- this is a zen lesson on letting things be as they are, not getting attached to an outcome or a result, NOT FORCING IT 2) This is a test of my will and work ethic, and I need to push through and follow through till the end- completion. Success doesn't come easy. HARD work- that piece again... As you can see the zen is very much in opposition to the capitalist European work ethic piece. Is it safe to always side with the zen lesson? I assume that is the safest choose, but you know what they say about those who assume..... Or there is no lesson or reason and that is the lesson- whoa deep! So I'm watching a cheesy horror movie. I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (took the test- highest percentile- that's me) and usually even the cheesiest horror movie will give me nightmares for weeks but I felt I had to channel my energy into something other than worry and fret.....I hope when the movie is over the tension leaves. At ten a.m. my partners and I will decide the fate of the event. It can be postponed, it can be moved. It will take a shit load of media work, re-posting and last minute word spreading......I need to realise that I can not control the rain (damn if only we had those weather control seeds!). Deep breath and an attempt at sleeping after the, I'm setting my alarm for 5am as the weather is predicted to change at 3am. I'll have a sense then at least...... uggh this one was definitely not in the start your own business handbook. I'll probably need help with the sleep tonight.... amazing free resource that's helping me through this journey...

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